Blindfolded…
This week I had the privilege of chaperoning a school trip to Sky Ranch. If you don’t know about this jewel in East Texas you must investigate. I was blessed (ha!) to spend three days with five middle school boys as they were challenged, stretched and faced with various team building exercises and group decision making tasks. One exercise in particular has really struck a chord with me and challenged me to think about how and why we ask for help.
The leader told the boys that they were going to be exploring a cave. He blindfolded them and led them through a field and into a wooded area where six trees lie in a square. There was a rope running the entire outline of the square and the boys were told to keep their right hand on the rope at all times. The leader said, “there is only one exit to the cave. Just one. Your job is to find the exit.” The boys began to make their way excitedly around the square, moving faster and faster as to ensure they were the one to find the exit. About their third time around the leader said, “I would love to help you. You may raise your hand and ask me a question. I would love to help you find your way out.” Boys began raising their hands and asking, “Am I close?” “Where is the exit?” Within in minutes their frustration was mounting. One kid said, “this is stupid, there isn’t a way out. This is a trick!” Another boy sat down and said, “I give up.” One kid continued to ask questions over and over but none of them the right question. Finally, after repeating himself at least 15 times (“I would love to help you. You may raise your hand and ask me a question. I would love to help you find your way out.”) one boy raised his hand, the leader went to him and the blindfold came off. This particular boy asked the right question, “Can you help me get out of the cave?” Once he realized how easy it was he giggled. The leader announced that someone had made his way out of the cave.
It took almost 45 minutes of the leader saying the exact same thing, and getting even more pointed, “If you want to get out of the cave you may ask me for help and I will help you,” before all of the boys got to take off the blindfold. Once the blindfold came off and they connected with what it required from them, most of them said, “Oh my gosh, that was so easy. I can’t believe it took me that long to figure it out. He said from the very beginning we could ask for help.
How many of us relate to this? I know I have been in this situation a hundred times. Feeling frustrated, wanting to quit, refusing to look at the answer that is so clearly being presented over and over and over again. Five years ago I called my AA sponsor and told her that I needed help. I was miserable in my life and didn’t know what to do. She gave me the number of a life coach and said, “this woman will help you. Call her.” I tucked the number into my calendar and told her I would. Six months later a similar convo took place and I told her I would call Tori. I didn’t. A year later when I couldn’t handle the pain anymore, and she said, “Did you call Tori?” I hung up the phone and called Tori.
I asked our leader of the “Cave” if there was a difference between boys and girls in how they figured out the exercise. He said, “Absolutely. I’ve done this for four years and the girls almost always ask for help first.”
So, where are you in the “Cave?” Going around and around knowing if you just hold on tightly enough or walk the same path long enough, you will find a way out? Where is the message of help, the message of hope screaming at you, yet you keep ignoring it? What would be possible if you stopped and listened to what is being repeated in the universe around you and actually took some action? Could you, right now, pull the blind fold off and giggle a little at the realization that it actually IS that easy?
Until Next Time,
